" No one is going to love you, if you don't love yourself"

Dear,

You have really push me too far.
Being with you is no more about joy or what, it is more of stress.

Stress that whatever I do will trigger you , trigger your angry cells.
Stress that my body , my face is of no perfection.
Stress that I gotta fight over you with your friend/ colleague.

 I don't know, I can't think of any happy moments we had for this past 1 month.
Only quarrels, and when we meet up , all I want to feel is to feel love.
But, no. I don't feel any love on-going between us.
You just stare into space, instead of looking into my eyes or looking at me lovingly.
You rather message your friends/ play your game, than hug me.

Yesterday, you got me all worried.
MIA for freaking 40minutes.
Without even picking up my phone, and when you finally send a message.
You send :" Can you stop calling me, I want my alone time."

For the past whole week you had your alone time, I only spend yesterday with you.
Only called you caused you didn't reply my message.
Was it that hard to tell me you went to find " HIM"

Oh gosh, I really hate "HIM" for causing so much problem for us this few months.
But he is your best friend now, I can't do anything.

Had to cry my eyes out, finding for people that I know wouldn't judge me.

& when I was finding for people to open up to, I realize my best friend was always you.
& I was your best friend till recently. Till you find this best friend of yours that snatch you from me.

But from today, I will stop.
Stop being so dependent on you.
Stop living my life around you.
Stop caring of whatever you want to do.
Stop crying cause of whatever you do.
Stop getting angry with you.
Stop giving in to you.
Stop treating you as a priority.

& find a new best friend.

Maybe only if I changed, only if I become more independent, you will come crawling back to me.
I don't know.
But it is worth a try. Cause really I tried so hard to put down this relationship.
But I can't. 2.5 years is really filled with many memories, and I can't bear to just let it go this way.
So instead of letting go, I am gonna change myself.
Maybe I changed into some one that was independent, to someone that is dependent on you.
That's why you changed too.

So I am going to change, I know it is hard.
But it is worth a try.
If it doesn't work out, then maybe this relationship is bound to end this way....
Unless you start changing, and treating me like your priority.
& love me like you used to.