TRUST

 

From March last year I thought my  ♥♥ quit smoking, apparently he never did.
I knew he smoke in camp after he post out, I knew he smoke once when he was allocated to his current workplace.
But I didn't know, all along he was still smoking. 
& what he told me was : " No, I never smoke after I came to my new workplace"

Yeah, I believed him . TOTALLY.
never doubt him at all.
To find out ytd, all was a pile of lies. 
Really, & he didn't tell me cause he knows I will nag.

I didn't know I was living in this pile of lies for over 1 year, how naive I am.
To think I promise myself never to be so naive again. 

He say I will be the reason he quit smoking. For 1 yr plus he didn't.
Now he says the same thing again. Like what he told me before.
I don't know whether to believe or what.

But what I know is that I am disappointed. & any further disappointment won't affect me much.
Cause I already see it coming.
What I wanna know is, how will I know whether he is telling the truth the next time. 
He look into my eyes told me he never smoke at work & all, how will I know what is true what is lies. 

I am numb from all these things you do. Is not a simple smoking that you think it is, it is the trust between us.
The trust you tried to earn so much, that you got so frustrated that you couldn't earn the first few months.
Now you are slowly losing it. I hope you really do your best to earn it back.
But I am scared, I am scared cause I don't know how to differentiate your lies and the truth anymore. 



“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”- Friedrich Nietzsche