To be a successful women, I really feel I will like to accomplish the best for both areas in my life...  ( family and work) 

Being good at only one area doesn't make someone successful...

We need to be able to manage time and handle both perfectly and balance it well.. 

Believe not only for women, it is the same for men too... 

"You don't understand"

Sorry. I will try harder to understand.

I don't know why. Feels like you haven't forgotten her. 

If you haven't forgotten her, pls just leave me. Cause i can't stand being treated coldly anymore...

Maybe is just me being paranoid. I don't know. Feeling shitty right now. 

Food for thought

Thank You For Letting Me Go

It has been eight weeks since I last spoke to you.
It has been 10 weeks since I’ve last seen you.
Your face is blurry in my mind. I like it that way.
I don’t want that smile and those dimples of yours to have a hold over me ever again.
Will they, though? Have a hold over me ever again?
Because after
 two months I’ve finally realized that I am not the person I was before you ended our relationship. You left me crippled and broken and I decided that I wasn’t going to be that person so I have changed.
 I am not the same person anymore.
I have had the best last few days in a very long time.
I’ve been laughing and enjoying life more than I ever did when we were together or even before that. I’m a different person.
 I have a different outlook on life and love and friendship and I react to stimuli differently and I approach things in a way that I did not before.
Not to say I wasn’t happy with you, I know I was.
But it was a different happy.
This happy is…new and exciting.
It’s independent of anything other than my own decision to be happy with who I am and where I am going in life.
And that is so unbelievably liberating.
To finally allow myself to be the one to make me smile and laugh and giggle.
I’m falling in love with myself. It’s something I’ve never done before.

I am enjoying life on my own terms.
I am not allowing a boy to dictate how I feel.
I am not allowing thoughts of you to completely ruin my demeanor and emotions.
I believe that we do not have any control of the situations we are put in throughout our lives.
I believe that things happen and things change and that is something we cannot control.
What we can control, however, is how we feel and react to these bumps and changes.
I am taking control of my emotional well-being and making sure I heal in the best way possible.
I still miss you at times.
The old you, of course.
I don’t really know who you are now.
I’m sure you’ve changed.
I mean you changed 12 hours after you told me you loved me and you couldn’t wait to see me in a week, so two months must have really had an effect on you.
Or maybe it didn’t.
I don’t know.
I don’t know where you are or who you are or what you do for fun or who your friends are.
And I’m okay with that. I am finally okay with that.

This new me isn’t as soft and frail as she was before.
She’s stronger and can hold herself better than before.
She won’t allow herself to be riled up by people who have hurt and abused her.
She will not let herself be tortured by “what ifs” and “what could have been.”
I’m new. I’m different. I’ve improved. I will change significantly more over the next few months. And I can’t wait because I’m loving who I am becoming.
So thank you for breaking me.
Thank you for letting me go.
Because this new version of me is better than before. And you will never have her. 

Day at the beach

Drove to sembawang park to practice our driving.

Decided to get down and take a stroll..

Just uploading the photos I took that day~ 

Sembawang shipyard is just beside the sembawang park.. 

So I manage to see the tug boat pull the car vessel over to the shipyard ..

Boyf started explaining about those crane, about what the grey spots on the vessels are and etc... 

I only can say that "认真的男人真帅" :p 

Love it when he talks to me about his work although I don't understand anything he is saying most of the time.. Hahah. What matters is that I bother to listen right! 

Anyway his eyebrows I help him trim one ok! That's why so handsome :p 

Haha. I will like to post a photo of him before his trimmed and tidy eyebrows...

But let's not do that... Hahaha cause I am in the picture too. And I look ugly in that pic :x

Meet up with charmaine , Eunice and ken on Nov 2~

L couldn't join because he went to celebrate his army friend's birthday! 

Had haidilao for our dinner... 

The meat damn shiok and nice! 

Service was great too.... 

But comes with a hefty price tag 😭

After haidilao, we split into pairs and went to queue for Llao Llao and honey creme separately.. 

To be honest, I think both over rated.. 

Think cause I quite stingy la. I can't see myself wasting 6dollar just to have a normal dessert ....

Furthermore the queue is ... CRAZY.. 

If I am alone or I am dating w L , we definitely won't waste the time queuing... 

Cause he also quite stingy :p 

Oh ya. Speaking about L...

Haha. In the morning after dexter's staycation, I told him I will be going Chinatown point library to study ...

In the end he went to Chinatown point library... But I forgot to update him that I changed place to the library at orchard central..

Spoiled the surprise he had plan for me :x 

I love you even though you always play the stupid game :< 

Love?

Been 6 days since I saw the boy. 

He has been busy. And I have exams coming up.

Currently he is on his way to Malaysia with his colleague for a farewell dinner.

Sucks. 

 

But I guess I gotta get use to it. 

Let me take a nap before I try to concentrate without feeling sians all over again. 

Happy 4th

Dear L,

Thank you for being the best boyfriend that anyone can ask for.  <3
We both know that you can be an ass when you are unhappy, but am glad that you always apologize for being one.
These six months or more is gonna be tough for both of us because of your project,but  just remember that I am always here for you (:

I love you <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOYS

Happy 22nd Dexter!

So we had a staycation at Park Royal on Pickering!
The room was damn big and shiokkkkkkkk (Y)

Thanks dexter for inviting us <3
I know I say this many times.
BUT THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE FOR ME ALWAYS.

So before heading over to the hotel,  I went to celebrate Guohao's birthday with L& friends.
We went over to surprise Guohao at Eugene's house.
He was suppose to play mahjong with them, so QH helped to arrange and coordinate with Eugene for the surprise...

Thank you QH!
Sorry that L is always so busy with work,
and when he is free I am always pestering him :x

Anyway photo of the birthday boy...
A pity we didn't take any group photo ):

I

Repost 21st

Thank you all for attending my 21st birthday party (: 

Thank you my boyfriend for insisting to hold one. Stating that 21st is important...

Thank you for all the hard labour that you had to do that day for me (: 

Thank you for always being by my side when I need you . 

Ahhhhh, 

I can never thank you enough !

Anyway, I held my birthday party at my uncle's house..

Food initially I wanted to order buffet but in the end my grandma wanted to cook..

So all food was home made! 

So my cost was kept to the minimum.. 

Ok maybe not. I spend quite a lot wasting on decorations I didn't use :x

Anyway photos of that day!! 

Thank you to all that came and thanks for the presents (: 

Food for thought

 http://thoughtcatalog.com/kelsey-hau/2014/10/why-i-hope-my-ex-was-a-once-in-a-lifetime-kind-of-love/

 Why I Hope My Ex Was A Once-In-A-Lifetime Kind Of Love 

Yesterday I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile. As we did our quick five-minute catch-up, she asked me how my ex was doing. After I did my well rehearsed polite response, “Actually we aren’t together anymore, so I am not entirely sure,” she gave me the immediate look of sadness and sympathy that I always get. I’m well used to that look, I guess that’s what happens when the man you thought you were going to marry breaks up with you, but after giving me “the look,” she told me that she knows I’ll find someone new and I will love him just as much, if not more. Her words, meant to make me feel better about being single, really got me thinking.

I hope she is wrong. I hope I never find someone I love as much as him.

I don’t say that because I am a cynic, and I don’t say that because I hope we get back together. I say that simply because the love I shared with him was too much for me. It was raw, it was passionate, it was all-encompassing, it was emotional, it was everything. He was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night. I felt incomplete when I wasn’t around him, and when he was near it was like everything was right in the world again. He was my other half, and what I considered the best part of myself. He made me crazy and emotional. It was like our entire time together was a roller coaster of missing him, loving him, hating him, and needing him.

And I pray to God I never ever feel that way again.

I hope my ex was the love of my life because I never want to feel that kind of love again. I had it for three years. It changed my life and it is something that I will cherish for the rest of forever. I found that kind of love young and I loved every minute of being in it. Even when we were fighting and I hated him, I loved it. But I never want to feel it again. That kind of pain and hurt mixed in with such passionate love was too much for me. It was too much for my heart to handle and when he decided to leave me, I didn’t understand how the world would keep turning.

But it did keep turning, and one day the ache in my chest stopped hurting and all the broken little pieces of my heart and soul seemed to be put back together. That’s when I realized I don’t need that kind of love or that kind of life. It’s not that I don’t want to fall in love again. I can’t wait to fall in love again, but I hope and pray it is a very different kind of love.

I don’t want someone to be my other half, I want someone who makes me feel whole on my own. I don’t want to miss someone so much it hurts, I want to know that even when I am apart from him I can trust him and know that he is coming home to me. I don’t want him to be my last thought when I go to bed at night because I want him to be beside me when I go to bed at night. I don’t want him to be the best part of me, I want him to encourage me and push me to be the best self I can be on my own. I want a partner. I want someone I can rely on 24 hours out of the day, seven days a week. I want a love that makes me smile and go to bed completely content with my life, not one that keeps me up at night. I don’t want a man who treats me like a princess and the most precious thing in the world, I want him to treat our daughter like that. I don’t want to be the love of his life because I want our family to be.

My ex taught me more about love and life than he will never know. After the break up my friends always told me that he would never find someone who loved him quite like I did. They said it to make me feel better, but I hope the same is true for him, too. We were young and naive and loved being in love, but it was the wrong kind of love. I hope it was a once in a lifetime kind of love for the both of us, and I hope one day we both find a better, more whole kind of love.

Three months going on four

Have only been like 3 months++ since i officially got into a relationship with L.

Feels like it has been so long , and like I have known him for years 😁 

I can never stop loving this guy. 

Although we have our disagreements at times. He just pours out his feelings and ask for my feelings too... 

So we usually just talk through our unhappiness or our feelings ...

 

No quarrels still 😁😁 so it's a good thing I guess! 

Kinda feel like age is catching up, because from the start of our relationship it is like already somehow considered that we are dating with marriage in mind. In Japanese there is a term: 

結婚(けっこん) 前提(ぜんてい) の付き合い(つきあい).  

In the past,I  didn't even think of marriage when I got into a relationship. 

I just got in because I like/love the guy. 

And after being together , I started thinking " maybe this is the guy I wanna marry?"

Well, the guy proved that he wasn't the one I was gonna marry though. 

Anyway back to L, my parents (especially my dad )likes him, Japan grandparents likes him and singapore grandma loves him (because he is heng hwa and he gave her orhcai) 

Blessed to find someone that my family accepts! Especially the three most important guy in my life 😁😁

My dad, my Japan grandfather and my brother ☺️☺️

We both never thought that we will date someone older/ younger by 5 years.

I somehow set a maximum age of 3 years gap for my boyfriend...

However, this L really make me feel that age is just a number.

If you told me age is just a number in the past , I will be like : " pls laaaa. 5 years leh. Damn old sias. Cannot. Only 1-3 years difference then I ok. " 

 

Now I am like basking in love with this guy who is 5 years older with me. 

Haha , well. 

We can click because his mental age is like 18 laaa. 

Anyway enough of my love story. 

Just wanted to remind myself of how fortunate I am to have him. 

And to stop comparing with what other people do for their girlfriends!!! 

Glad to have a boyfriend that always make me laugh. 

Every single day. 😘😘😘

21st

A huge thank you to all those who came down to my party.
Thank you for the presents too (:

Can never express how grateful I am to have all of you in my life.
Thank you for somehow shaping me into who I am now.
Thank you for accepting such a crazy girl as your friends :p

I may not be the sweetest, prettiest and nicest friend anyone can have.
But you all still treat me so nice <3

got to thank my boyfriend too <3
really thank you for all the effort you put in.
Love you to the moon and the back.
Grateful for your existence in my life...

Haven been blogging much...
Cause I need to finish my assignments.. Due date is like on the 9 & 10.
Lucky for me , I completed the one due on the 10...
Rushing for the 9th one...

Birthday celebration to be held on the 5th.
Too many things to plan and do.
Initially wanted to order my buffet....
But.......
Super grandma stepped in.
Insisting that buffet food sucks and asked if I needed her help to cook.
So my initial plan of ordering buffet was cancelled.
And my relatives are cooking for me (Y)
Am cooking 3 dishes myself too!

Guess it's better this way.
Saved up on hotel or chalet, as I am holding it in my uncle's terrace house.
Saved up on buffet, as my relatives are cooking for me.
Saved up for cake... initially wanted to order a $500 one...
Now downgrade to $180....
I don't have much expectations in the cake , TBH.
But ... just a cake mah.
Don't find the need for buying an expensive one.

Anyway Japan grandparents are coming over from 3-11Oct.
Which also explains why I have to rush my assignments all by this week.

Oct 4 am gonna decorate the place with dexter, charmaine, eunice and ysoon...
Oct 5 cook and then partyyyy.
Oct 6 out with family and Jap grandparents , magic show at night with the boy, family and jap grandparents...

Am kinda sad that Charmaine can't make it for my party..
Don't want Eunice to feel awkward so told her not to come too...
Jeremy and Bella is working on that day too , so sadly they cant make it too ):

Well, guess we can still meet up on other days....
So .....

Can't explain how much my heart sank when I saw that message.
I guess it just means I have fallen deeper in love.
Am on the verge of crying...

Just hope it's my headache that is causing me to be so emotional.
And all this feelings I am feeling right now will be gone tomorrow.

Two-face

防人之心不可無，害人之心不可有。。

Thanks fr the advice L.... I will keep that in mind.
Not to trust so easily.
Not to bare all of myself to someone that I don't really know.
Even if I think I know, they can still be backstabbers.
So just got to keep my guard up.

Is because of this kind of people, that I always lose faith in humanity and in people.
How can someone be so fake.
Don't talk to me first if you don't like me.
Thank you very much.

Backstabbers are a total no-no for me.
The worse kind of people after cheating.
Actually on-par la.
Same kind. You are cheating people's feeling.
You betray people who trusted you...

That's about all.
Get out of my life before I show you my black face.

Everything still seems like it happened yesterday....
Our first message, our first phone call, our first date...

Never regret knowing you at all in the first place.

Thankful for your existence everyday...

Blog has been pretty dead cause I have been pretty busy ...
Weekends are spend with L and weekdays are spend with friends & schoooll....

Starting to search for flights and hotel for our BKK trip.
Can't wait (:

Going overseas w the boy!

I have a very very very very very happy news.














I AM GOING OVERSEAS WITH L <3
Haha. yeah, I know it's nothing much to people.
But for people who knows my dad, they will know how strict my dad is and how freaking impossible it is ....
Even going with friends takes alot of convincing ...
Now going with a boyfriend is even jialat...

L came over on Saturday to have dinner, and just when he was leaving he ask my dad for permission to bring me overseas.
Dad was just "hehehe" that point of time.
But after L left, dad probe me for more details...

And he gave the green light yesterday (:

Over the moon, can't stop thinking of the trip ~~

Feeling shitty.. 

Ruin it once again.

Maybe that's why I never get what I want...

I always push people away by my actions.

Hey ball,

Thanks for making me fall back crazily in love.
Thanks for making me feel secure and reassuring me everytime I get paranoid.
Thanks for making the effort to come to Woodlands to meet me every time.
Thanks for sending me home everyday after going out even though how tiring it is or even though how late it is ... 

Have so many things to thank you for.
But really thank you for always showing appreciation for the minor stuffs that I do for you, even if I suggested it just to have some fun :x

I want to post a photo of you yesterday, but I guess nah~

Date a man who loves you more

Do not date the other man because the other man will never give you the stability you know you need.
Stay away from the other man because with him, you are unreliable.
The other man will never be there for you with the same dependability you have come to expect.
He will challenge you and push you to question everything you think you know about yourself.
The other man will love you, he will love you in ways that make you abandon every certainty you have ever had, but he will not help you keep your balance.
Just when you think you have figured that man out, he will disorient you, you will be winded, you will not be able to breathe.

The other man will be infuriating.
He will be selfish, careless with his words and at times even cruel.
He will try to inflict as much pain on you as he himself is feeling.
He will not apologize and he will push you to your limits.
With this man, you can expect the dizzying agony of passion, the blurred oblivion of apathy, the delicious comfort of despair, the addictive misery of loneliness.
You will tell yourself that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but in that moment of utter hopelessness, you will not believe it with absolute conviction.

Find the man who loves you more and keep him because the worth of happiness cannot be measured in days and months and years,
and those fleeting few memories of pure,
unadulterated bliss will never measure up to the lifetime of contentment you will have with the man who loves you more.

Tell yourself this over and over,
let it become your mantra,
and condition yourself to believe it.

Forget the other man, or at least try to,
ignore the smells, the sounds and the things that remind you of him,
ignore the way he made you feel, because you are better off apart.

Together you make the world explode, but you cannot survive in it after.
Date the man who loves you more, choose him and never let him go,
because you are wise enough to know that stories of true love never have a happy ending,
and with this man at least you will die knowing someone loved you more

Date a man who loves you more 

Thanks for always making me feel so love (:
Weekends always pass so fast.

Till the next weekend that we see each other, I love you <3